Tags
Balance, Blogger, Dove, Drake, healthy relationships, know your worth, Know yourself, life, LOVE, making love better begins within, Making Love Better TwoGether, relationship expert, Relationships, self reflection, selflove, selfreflection, Woman, Women, Yanni Brown
There will come a time in a woman’s life when she simply no longer wants to date for sport. Dating becomes a bit more intentional. She begins to date on purpose, with purpose, because truth be told I don’t think anyone wants to play the dating game forever. At some point we discover that “She’s Just Not In To” casual flings and things. When a woman gets to this stage in life, please know that you are worth marrying. NO marriage isn’t for everyone but contrary to what the media portrays, news, social networks, society says and reports, there are many wonderful benefits to marriage and you are worth marrying.
Marriage isn’t for everyone and ladies the truth is, every man that you date is not marriage material or ready for what you are ready for. And if we are being completely honest some of us aren’t as ready for marriage as we think that we are either. As a relationship educator I’m fully aware that sometimes when love enters the room, logic can go out of the window. So today on this wisdom Wednesday here are few tips to consider when deciding to stay and play or stay and prosper:
What do you expect? Discussing expectations is key to seeing where this dating situation is going. If the actions don’t consistently match with what is expressed, we have a choice, we can either stay or play or control, alt delete. (I understand this is difficult when time is invested, feelings get involved and you want things to work out but if you’re the only one putting in the work, IT won’t work)
What time is it? I understand that timing is everything and we should be on the same page roughly with our timetable, but if our timetable is off, then so will the relationship. Simply because she’s expecting one thing and he’s expecting and accepting of another. So as one woman once told me, “Your time is valuable and if others aren’t respective of your time then only you can decide when time’s up” Katie Brown once shared with me, “We are not long for this world, be mindful with whom you spend your time, waste your time and share your space and time.”
Checked Your Benefits Package Lately? Have you checked out your benefits package lately? Step back and take a look at all that you offer, all that you bring to the table. Then ask yourself are you OK with what your mate is offering in his benefits package and are you OK with what he brings to the table. One thing I know for sure is that if you are setting the table and serving what’s to be put on the table, he will continue to eat and enjoy what’s being served. Why buy the cow when he’s getting the milkshake for free?
When’s the last time you checked your price tag? This is where I like to quote Drake. “Know yourself, know your worth!” WE are absolutely worth everything that we’re asking for. YET sometimes as women we place ourselves on the clearance rack and don’t even know it. We do this by settling, creating reasons as to why we stay, why we continue to play and eventually why we continue to pay. LOVE is a powerful thing and I am not in any way minimizing our emotions and feelings but please understand that he, your he, my he and her he, is not emotional. So while it may be easy to say that if you don’t want to marry me then leave me alone. AS long as the benefits are good, the time is right for him and his expectations are being met he will not budge because he’s getting everything that he wants. The hardest decision for any relationship is whether to walk away or fight to stay. You can’t fight for an “US” if it’s just you fighting. There are many reasons to stay and many reasons to leave. Make a list of both and if they don’t add up only you can decide if this, us, ours, is worth your time and from there only you can decide what’s best for you because you ABSOLUTELY deserve someone who’s all in with you and for you.
Yanni Brown, a ChiCity born, Author, Blogger and Relationship Educator and if you asked “What’s Love Got to Do With It” I’d answer without hesitation “Absolutely Everything.”
Follow me on twitter and Facebook @MakingLoveBettr